I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
