i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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