We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We left the knife in your bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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