She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
two words...techno handjob
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
