your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
