i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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