I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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