I just made out with a guy for $7.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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