So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
