Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD