so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
