i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
