I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
