if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
