The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
