Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
