we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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