pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
