Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
