didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
