i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i now understand why vodka
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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