I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
