Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Randomize
