I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
