Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
