my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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