It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot