Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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  (703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq
  Replies (13) Good night (519) Bad night (3453) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  with a sacreligious after taste.

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  (847): It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut. (1-847): with a sacreligious after taste. http://tfl.nu/wzar
  Replies (7) Good night (2072) Bad night (565)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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  (509): I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo. http://tfl.nu/veuj
  Replies (16) Good night (4561) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7489) Bad night (885) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.

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  (210): I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy. http://tfl.nu/uz12
  Replies (44) Good night (4367) Bad night (1950) Order T-Shirt
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  (368): View more from

  you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.

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  (368): you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning. http://tfl.nu/nfr6
  Replies (22) Good night (6748) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.

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  (250): I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you. http://tfl.nu/i94o
  Replies (6) Good night (1725) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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  (306): Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's. http://tfl.nu/a874
  Replies (6) Good night (2729) Bad night (476)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.

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  (613): She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone. http://tfl.nu/b8gy
  Replies (8) Good night (2366) Bad night (573) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights

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  (604): I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights http://tfl.nu/jrwg
  Replies (12) Good night (517) Bad night (1408) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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  (228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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  (336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1029) Bad night (376) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".

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  (613): You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast". http://tfl.nu/iqmw
  Replies (11) Good night (2274) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (535) Bad night (144) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts

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  (716): I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts http://tfl.nu/te6p
  Replies (4) Good night (129) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt

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