i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.