come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
