i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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