Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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