I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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