have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
