Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
