that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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