summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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