you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Can I color on your dick again?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My vagina is officially offended.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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