i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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