Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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