So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
