glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
