pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She's the barista slut.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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