So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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