im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize