I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize