3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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