She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
