I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
