Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize