Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
