You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
