the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
she told me i tasted like america
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
