ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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