Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
