Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i now understand why vodka
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
