yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
