if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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