I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
