I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize