I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
How does one acquire holy water?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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