I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
