We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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