Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
