Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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