so that wasnt chicken after all
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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