A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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