shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
