a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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