Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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